The Bird and I

This bird and I had a slight disagreement over a dead trout. If only I too had been blessed with those darn flappy arms and hollowed bones I may have stood a chance in the altercation. True I have nimble fingers(girl hands) but unaided they hardly draw blood like those magnificent talons. YAHG my eyes will ring through the bird santuary for all eternity. Allow me to elaborate.
There I sat happily munching the dead-ish trout I'd found near the river bank. Flap, swish went it's tail as if calling that wretched bird. "Come bird, fly me away and tear at my still twitching carcass from some dirty treetop lair. Imagine that from a human point, your swimming about eating plankton and ambergris when shazam your back is torn open by some greedy bird looking to quell it's starvation by feasting on your smelly skin! Hey bird EAT SOME BERRIES! I think coffee is both my ally as well as my greatest enemy. That and A.D.D I love new world disease, they're like excuses for everything. When I was kid(in the good old days) you were just a lazy idiot, but NOW, oh he can't do that he's got some disease which seems to have to do with the fact that I let him eat waaaaaaaaay too much sugary cereal for breakfast and then sent him off to school with a duffel bag full of granola bars coated in chocolate and fruit flavoured nuggets. OOh look at our little guy he sure is fast, oooop he fell over again. Now the Japanese are making robots like crazy. Hey great idea! Doesn't anyone at Honda watch tv or movies. Yeah, except for maybe Twiggy from Buck Rogers and Muffit from Battlestar Galactica what good ever came from robots. Oh hello emotionless bionic all hard cased robo being, you want my breakfast bar, well I'm not quite done....gahck, I mean go ahead just release me from your newly completed neck crushing tractor beam/laser pointer for scary effect. Run on sentence that. I sure hope you didn't come this far looking for content, I really did drink waaaay too much coffee. I'm flattering myself by ASSuming someone is reading this. I'm a very good self-flatterer, I've talked myself into bed on more than one occasion. What next, I really did take that picture. Birds rule, you want to talk multi-tasking, you try flying in formation dodging bullets and honking in tune with all the other birds....Honk.....honk.ho..I mean ...wait for it....not yet..Honk...That's damn talented. Another cool thing is Dam, something built by beavers(the animal) and damn ooh did I just hear an "n" on the end of that young man, you had better be talking about something built by that swimming mammal with the overactive bicuspids, tendency towards logging and major plumbing jobs in smaller bodies of water. Beavers are also cool, unfortunately I have no pictures of them. They're too damN whiley. Imagine if beavers were carpenters. " Excuse me, little beaver man, um I said crown moulding not a stinking muddy ceiling in a damn stick house half submerged in my pool blocking my septic feild and creating a damn stinking wetland of feces and urine in my back yard." That would make a funny show. Beaver Carpenter Man. Hah, maybe not. The coffee is making me sweaty. Bye
Red-Tailed Hawk